What teachers and tutors see (that many parents don't)

I was invited to a work event in London, UK last month.

This was welcomed for a few reasons.

First, we recently said goodbye to Rousseau - my dog of 13 years and the original love of my life - and we thought a change of scenery might be a good distraction from the heartache.

Second, being an entrepreneur while working remotely can feel isolating. I love connecting with other educators and trading insights.

Third, I thought it would be fun. I don’t know if it’s a thing that happens to all of us, or parents of toddlers, but I’ve realized I don’t often do things just for fun.

So off to London we went.

The event was very fun. A lot of other people brought their kids, there was a rooftop pool and open bar serving Dom Perignon 🤩 

But one of the most interesting parts of the night was the ice breaker peopled asked…

So what subject do you teach?

…followed by my answer, along the lines of:

I don’t teach subjects. I use subjects to teach students HOW to learn so they can succeed in all subjects.

…and the conversations that ensued.

Here are 4 themes from those conversations that might help you and your teen better understand their struggles in school - and how to overcome them once and for all.

#1: Skills are way more predictive of grades and learning success than intelligence or effort.

Intelligence gets a lot of students easy A’s…until it doesn’t.

When school gets harder - which it inevitably does - “naturally smart” students start to struggle and often fail. That’s because intelligence isn’t a substitute for the skills required to effectively manage their work and learn complex material.

(…let alone self-motivate or stay focused when things feel hard - these are skills that are developed through deliberate practice over time)

Effort without strategy is not a recipe for success. This is why so many teens “try” hard but don’t see their grades go up. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking to watch. For your teen to translate their efforts into results they love, it isn’t about working harder - it’s about building the skills and strategies to learn effectively.

#2: Teachers and tutors wish your child had stronger skills...but it’s not their job to teach them.

Teachers and tutors deliver content knowledge for specific subjects. They generally don’t have the time or resources to focus on skills.

Every teacher and tutor I spoke with said something along the lines of “My students could really use the stuff you’re teaching.”

This has nothing to do with me personally and everything to do with the fact that skills deficits are rampant in our education system, and teachers’ jobs are harder as a result. They know that the effects of their teaching are amplified and more impactful when their students have strong learning skills.

Teachers, tutors, and even you as a parent can only do so much. Real, sustainable change in your child’s ability to succeed in school (and life) happens when they develop the skills to become a confident, capable learner in any environment.

[The whole reason my program exists is because schools are designed around subjects. Not skills. Until explicit, systematic skills development is embedded into mainstream education - something I’m a fierce advocate for - consider giving your child the chance to build their skills and understand what they’re truly capable of through my program.]

#3: Confidence comes after competence.

Telling kids to just "believe in themselves” doesn’t magically boost their confidence.

Of course we want them to believe they’re capable and smart - and we should absolutely tell them this, often - but for our teens to feel and know they’re smart and capable, they need evidence. And creating that evidence means learning the right strategies, putting them into practice, and seeing real progress (like higher grades, zero late work and homework-free weekends).

When students become more competent learners, confidence follows naturally. Bonus: when students’ confidence is based on concrete evidence of their competence, motivation goes up too. We gravitate towards things that make us feel smart and confident and, when school becomes a source of those things, they’re more motivated to spend time on it.

^read that last part again.

#4: Every teen is capable of incredible success and happiness in school.

With the right support, they can learn how to learn and build the skills that make schoolwork and good grades EASIER. This applies to:

☑️ neurotypical and neurodiverse learners,

☑️ individuals experiencing mental health challenges,

☑️ students who have struggled for years,

☑️ teens who ‘hate’ school (they don’t actually hate school - they hate how they feel about it right now, and that can change the second they realize it doesn’t have to suck).

Every educator I met was incredibly passionate not only about their students’ achieving to their full potential academically, but in life. Although we came from different countries, teach different things and work in different school systems, there was consensus that education is the single most transformative force in shaping a young person’s future.

When society gets education right, we don’t just see better grades. We see happier, healthier individuals discovering what they’re truly capable of, feeling empowered to live joyfully and pursue whatever version of success truly lights them up.

Cheers to that,

Kelsey

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