Make sure your teen knows about this

I was living in Houston, Texas when George W. Bush was president.

I remember when his Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, was all over the news, largely being mocked for something he said. This was the gist of it:

“There are known knowns. There are known unknowns. There are unknown unknowns.”

If someone had told me then that I’d be reminded of this statement weekly throughout my career, I would have thought they were nuts.

But here’s the thing - Rumsfeld’s logic is spot on. This statement, the last part in particular, explains why so many teens struggle in school, bring home low grades, aren’t motivated and can’t focus.

Students don’t know what they don’t know.

And this keeps them struggling and stuck, underachieving yet overwhelmed.

For example, they don’t know that they don’t know…

…how motivation works. They assume that not being motivated means they can’t do their work, or that trying to get stuff done will feel like torture, or that they need to somehow “find” motivation (all false).

…that focus is a skill they can build. Students with ADD in particular believe they’re unable to focus, when the reality is they’re wired to learn new skills including focus.

…they need a calendar. Even students who recognize they need better time management skills often tell me with absolute certainty that they don’t need their own calendar (they do) or that it won’t work for them (it will).

This is called unconscious incompetence - when someone doesn’t know how to do something but also doesn’t recognize that they don’t know how to do it.

They’re not aware that there’s a gap in their skills or knowledge - or they don’t think there’s a solution that will work for them - so they deny the usefulness of learning new skills or acquiring new knowledge.

The good news is that this is a phase. The first of four in this particular model of learning:

Unconscious incompetence - not knowing what you don’t know - also explains why so many students start the school year strong then drop off…over and over again.

📈 They decide that this year will be different and better.

✅ They’re on top of schoolwork for a bit.

😰 Inevitably, things get harder, they lose motivation and fall off the proverbial cliff into procrastination, late work, low grades etc.

They don’t know that they can’t succeed in school on motivation or intellect alone.

So they don’t learn the skills they need to manage their work.

And as a result, they struggle.

Here’s what we want your teen to know: school does not have to be a struggle. They can get good grades consistently without feeling stressed out or relying on motivation, even in subjects they hate or “aren’t good at.”

This is because they are designed to learn and build skills that make school (and life) easier. Once they accept this, they’re ready to shift from struggling student into thriving learner🚀 

Happy Saturday,

Kelsey

Whenever you’re ready, here are two ways I can help your teen get better grades with less stress:

{I realize the school year is almost over. Summer is fantastic for introducing new skills and strategies given the time and space teens have without academics.}